My Son, the Overcomer
The other day, someone posted a picture of my son, Joshua, on facebook. He was at his job, Freedom Toyota, where he works as a salesman. Last month, he made the top of the list, beating out a dozen or so other guys.
If you were one of his customers, I'm sure the thought would never cross your mind that he is a recovering heroin addict, but he is. If you visited his home, you'd never guess, either.
Josh did not come into this world with the privilege of married parents, as my other six children have. Instead, when I was ready to come home from the hospital with him, my parents came to pick me up, because his father never made it. Likewise, when I had arrived at the hospital a few months earlier with premature separation of the placenta, his father was at a beer festival, and totally oblivious.
Jack never helped with the doctor or hospital expenses. Even though I had health insurance, in those days, single women weren't covered. As for child support, forget it! He wanted the privileges of fatherhood without the expense.
Visitation never really became an issue until Jack's first wife came into the picture. She seemed to be behind the court battle. In fact, it seems that Josh was more of a pawn for her to use than anything. Well I remember the day she hissed into the phone, "How would you like to never see your son, again?"
Joshua paid a heavy price to be the pawn. The first summer he was required to spend two weeks at a time with his father, with alternate weekends at home. My heart broke for him as I saw his condition each time he came back.
As he aged, being the oldest of Jack's children, it seems he was used more for babysitting, cabin clean-up, and the like, than anything else. Of course, like any normal boy, in spite of that, Josh awaited those visits, often to be disappointed as Jack was too preoccupied with his own failed marriages to be consistent even in that.
The Lord led me to homeschool Josh at a time when homeschool was like a foreign word. Several years later, as we formed a support group, Josh was much older than the rest, further ostracizing him.
Torn between homes - mine, his grandparents, his dad's, he must have often wondered where he really belonged. Of course, for me, he belonged here, but as I started having babies, boom, boom, boom, I became naturally involved in their lives and Josh wasn't used to sharing me in that way. He was 6 1/2 before his first sister, from us, came along. His father was also having more children, though not nearly as fast since they were all with different women. Everywhere he looked there were half siblings, step siblings, but no "whole siblings", adding to the alienation.
Then there was the matter of homes that were poles apart. On one hand, he had our home, which included no alcohol, no drugs, not even a cigarette. Instead it was church, homeschool, and family. Opposed to that was the wine, women, and song world of his father. How does one process that?
In time, he chose to follow in his drug addicted/"pusher" father's shoes. He was a good drug dealer but a lousy thief and therefore ended up, after several stints in local jails, in the State Penitentiary. He will tell you that this was necessary for his recovery. In short order, he rose to the top, like cream. He kept his nose clean, took classes, and worked, getting out after 6 years. His term was 7 - 14 years.
Once he was out, put in his time at a drug rehabilitation center and a halfway house, he struggled through the challenge of finding decent employment, which leads us to where I began - Freedom Toyota. How, you may ask, did he land such a job as that without even having had previous employment as a sales person? Well that, my friend, was a combination of providential circumstances and natural abilities.
With God's help, Josh has navigated the waters to become not only a law abiding citizen, but an example of a life reclaimed. It has not been an easy journey for any of us, but Josh is an example of what could almost be considered impossible. Indeed, sometimes it seems almost like a dream; a dream with a happy ending.
I am proud of the fact that Josh has overcome. I take full responsibility for my actions that led to many of the obstacles that propelled him into many "lost" years. I look forward to reclaiming all that the enemy has stolen because our God is an overcoming God!
If you were one of his customers, I'm sure the thought would never cross your mind that he is a recovering heroin addict, but he is. If you visited his home, you'd never guess, either.
Josh did not come into this world with the privilege of married parents, as my other six children have. Instead, when I was ready to come home from the hospital with him, my parents came to pick me up, because his father never made it. Likewise, when I had arrived at the hospital a few months earlier with premature separation of the placenta, his father was at a beer festival, and totally oblivious.
Jack never helped with the doctor or hospital expenses. Even though I had health insurance, in those days, single women weren't covered. As for child support, forget it! He wanted the privileges of fatherhood without the expense.
Visitation never really became an issue until Jack's first wife came into the picture. She seemed to be behind the court battle. In fact, it seems that Josh was more of a pawn for her to use than anything. Well I remember the day she hissed into the phone, "How would you like to never see your son, again?"
Joshua paid a heavy price to be the pawn. The first summer he was required to spend two weeks at a time with his father, with alternate weekends at home. My heart broke for him as I saw his condition each time he came back.
As he aged, being the oldest of Jack's children, it seems he was used more for babysitting, cabin clean-up, and the like, than anything else. Of course, like any normal boy, in spite of that, Josh awaited those visits, often to be disappointed as Jack was too preoccupied with his own failed marriages to be consistent even in that.
The Lord led me to homeschool Josh at a time when homeschool was like a foreign word. Several years later, as we formed a support group, Josh was much older than the rest, further ostracizing him.
Torn between homes - mine, his grandparents, his dad's, he must have often wondered where he really belonged. Of course, for me, he belonged here, but as I started having babies, boom, boom, boom, I became naturally involved in their lives and Josh wasn't used to sharing me in that way. He was 6 1/2 before his first sister, from us, came along. His father was also having more children, though not nearly as fast since they were all with different women. Everywhere he looked there were half siblings, step siblings, but no "whole siblings", adding to the alienation.
Then there was the matter of homes that were poles apart. On one hand, he had our home, which included no alcohol, no drugs, not even a cigarette. Instead it was church, homeschool, and family. Opposed to that was the wine, women, and song world of his father. How does one process that?
In time, he chose to follow in his drug addicted/"pusher" father's shoes. He was a good drug dealer but a lousy thief and therefore ended up, after several stints in local jails, in the State Penitentiary. He will tell you that this was necessary for his recovery. In short order, he rose to the top, like cream. He kept his nose clean, took classes, and worked, getting out after 6 years. His term was 7 - 14 years.
Once he was out, put in his time at a drug rehabilitation center and a halfway house, he struggled through the challenge of finding decent employment, which leads us to where I began - Freedom Toyota. How, you may ask, did he land such a job as that without even having had previous employment as a sales person? Well that, my friend, was a combination of providential circumstances and natural abilities.
With God's help, Josh has navigated the waters to become not only a law abiding citizen, but an example of a life reclaimed. It has not been an easy journey for any of us, but Josh is an example of what could almost be considered impossible. Indeed, sometimes it seems almost like a dream; a dream with a happy ending.
I am proud of the fact that Josh has overcome. I take full responsibility for my actions that led to many of the obstacles that propelled him into many "lost" years. I look forward to reclaiming all that the enemy has stolen because our God is an overcoming God!
I am so glad that you and Josh are at this point in time and not back in the past. Praise God for what He has done!
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