Working on Your Marriage?

   Unless you are a man who's wife just left him, or threatened to, I'm guessing  you are  a woman.  Why? Because, generally speaking, men don't "work on their marriages".  But before you start patting yourself on the back, or perhaps bitterly saying, "That's right, I have to do all of the work", let's look at what many women are actually doing when they are "working on their marriages".
   You want a good marriage, right?  So what are you doing about it; reading books, checking out topics on the internet, exchanging stories with friends, trying to implement a few ideas?  May I ask, what is the objective?  To have a good marriage, of course.  So I have to ask, for whom?  Well, for both of you, obviously.  Are you sure about that?  Are you sure you aren't just trying to manipulate your husband to get your needs met?  We women are so tuned into what's not right about our marriages from our own perspective.  Don't we often read all of this stuff in an attempt to make our marriage suit us?
   What if my title had been, "How Are You Loving Your Husband"?  Most of you still would have checked it out, but honestly, don't you read that title like this?  "How Are You Loving Your Husband (to get your own needs met)?  How interested would you be if there were no hidden agenda for you.  Would you be interested in a post entitled,  "How to Meet Your Husband's Needs Without Ever Getting Anything in Return?" You might counter, "That's outrageous, marriage is a two way street!"  You're right.  It is.  But we can only be responsible for our side of the street.
   We can expect results when our focus shifts from our own needs and desires, to our husband's needs and desires; but until that time, our husbands will know that we are playing a game of, "I'll meet your needs if you'll meet mine."  Don't underestimate your husband's perception.  We don't give them enough credit.  Men are more tuned into us than we are to them, though we think otherwise.  
    Many years ago,  at a crisis point in my marriage, when I asked God, "Now what?", He answered, "Now you die."  Strange response.  What did it mean?  I'm only now beginning to understand.  He meant, "Die to your own needs, wants, and desires".  Difficult?  No, impossible, except for the help of the Holy Spirit.
I spent many futile years "trying" this and that, when all along, I was at the center of the program.
  So, how do you work on your marriage?  You work on honestly meeting your husbands' needs, wants, and desires, and you leave the rest in God's hands.  Oh, and by the way, the only way you can accomplish that is by asking the Holy Spirit to fill you on a daily basis.  Only God loves unconditionally.  We could never muster the wherewithal to do anything more than love ourselves.


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